Friday during the Radiothon, John from KSON’s John and Tammy morning show asked me about my relationship with my dad. He has two daughters, one about middle school age and the other almost high school age. We’ve talked a lot about my history and he knows my Dad had cancer when I was around the same ages as his daughters. My dad and my’s relationship isn’t something I really think about that much because it’s just there. But when I do think about it, I realize that because of my age when my dad had cancer, I feel like we have a hard time understanding each other.
The end of elementary school/ beginning of middle school is that weird age of learning who you are and beginning to really experience it. Jackie and Dr. Vicario did a great job of keeping our family together and making things work as well for us as they possible could, but there’s still going to be healing that needs to be done within the family itself. Because I was so scared of the “c-word” I distanced myself from my Dad, especially after my Grammy passed away. As I’ve said before, her passing away really made it difficult for me to be okay with cancer again, so for a while I lived in constant fear of my dad relapsing and I think that caused me to really push him away.
Our relationship has gotten a lot better and I think that’s a lot in part because of what Dr. Viacario and the cancer center continues to do for me, as well as what St. Jude continues to do for me. All of these people and things teach me how to be okay with having a little bit of fear, after all, that’s totally normal, but they also teach me how to heal and be okay with cancer, which helps me heal my relationship with my father. Cancer does not define us or our relationship. It is only one part of our story.
Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, the time is now 
Leave a comment